Should you have spent almost every minute since that surprising declaration thinking about it; about him; and about what it could mean?
If you come to the conclusion that it was just a joke – a comment to lighten the recently tense atmosphere between the two of you – should it make you feel like someone is crushing your chest?
And if it does, should you, therefore, try to convince yourself that it meant more than that – because, that way, there is that shiver and fluttering again, and you like that feeling?
And, if you’re just friends, then should you like that feeling?
Should it make you smile when you picture your best friend’s reaction to you saying you’ve missed her tush? Should it cause a nervous fluttering of butterflies within you to know that you caused her to smile like that?
Should you have spent almost every minute, since you surprised both of you with that declaration, thinking about her smile… and about her tush? And should you analyse that train of thought?
If you come to the conclusion that your comment was not purely intended just to lighten the recently tense atmosphere between the two of you, should you feel frightened by that realisation?
Should you try to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything more, when that would take away the excited, nervous fluttering that is contained within the fear, and you actually like that feeling?
And if you’re just friends, then should you like that feeling?
Is it unusual to feel so anxious that your hands are shaking, when you are standing outside a door that you have passed through many times before?
Is it normal to be nervous about seeing your best friend, and also to simultaneously feel that if you don’t see him soon you might just cease to exist?
Is it natural to think so melodramatically when you are about to admit that maybe you were jealous; that you do enjoy the memory of that hospital gown; that perhaps it does concern you that you appear to be drifting away from each other?
Is it unusual to recognise that the knock on the door is your best friend, and to feel so nervous about seeing her that your hands are practically shaking?
Is it normal to be anxious about why she is here, but to simultaneously feel terrified that you will open the door to find that you took too long and she’s gone?
Is it natural to be so afraid when you want to admit that maybe you were envious of her husband; that you don’t like the growing closeness between her and Warrick; that perhaps it does concern you that you may drift apart now that you’re on separate shifts?
If you’re not in love, should your heart skip a beat when the door eventually opens, and should you dwell for a few more seconds than usual on how sexy your friend looks with the top button of his casual shirt undone?
If you’re not in love, should all your anxiety melt away when all he does is smile? And should you feel electricity in the air as the two of you stand in silence on his doorstep?
And, if you’re not in love, should your heart start beating uncontrollably in your chest when you realise that the look on his face seems to mirror what he must see on yours?
If you’re not in love, should all your fears melt away simply because you have seen your friend standing outside your house? And should you dwell a little longer than usual on how beautiful she is, and how radiantly she smiles?
If you’re not in love, should your heart start beating uncontrollably in your chest when you realise that the look on her face seems to mirror what she must see on yours?
And, if you’re not in love, should you step forward, gently place your hands either side of her face, and bring her lips to yours?
Is it love if you’re sure your heart stops momentarily when his hands delicately embrace your face and his lips tenderly caress yours?
Is it love if you step into his embrace and deepen the kiss, feeling your entire body melt into him?
And, is it love if – despite what you may have told yourself to the contrary - this is where you have always wanted to be?
Is it love if her body pressed tight against yours is not close enough?
Is it love if you want this moment to last for eternity, and you never want to let her go?
And, is it love if – despite what you may have told yourself these last twenty years – this is where you have always wanted to be?
Maybe I am in love, after all.