My shoulder is starting to ache from holding my bag for so long. I shift it to the other arm. As my head turns to adjust the strap, I see her from the corner of my eye.
But, it can't be her. So I don't look. Or maybe I don't want it to be her. Maybe I can't look.
I move forward again. I am careful not to glance in her direction. It'll be easier for her if I didn't see her. Or maybe it'll be easier for me.
I take another step forwards. I don't want to look. I can't bear to look. I know what I would find.
Only one more person and then it's my turn. I know I've hurt her. I don't want to see the pain.
Finally I reach the front and they take my boarding pass. This is the moment I've been waiting for. This is what I need to do.
I step towards the doorway, but I stop. And I look.
~Can't take the sadness from your eyes~
She is there. So still. Just looking at me. She looks so disappointed. So hurt. So angry. And I know I caused that.
Her eyes are red. She's been crying. And I know I made her cry.
And I know I can't take it back.
And I long to take it back.
~Can't put the truth back in my lies~
It's too late. I know I've lost her. I pushed her away too many times. I hid the truth too many times. I told too many lies.
She trusted me. She believed me. And I betrayed that.
And I know we can't go back.
And I long to go back.
~Don't make me try and explain~
I'm still standing here. She's still looking. Just looking. She hasn't moved at all.
And I know she's waiting. I know she's telling me I have another chance. Or maybe she's come to say goodbye.
I glance back towards the gate. I need to decide.
Looking back, she's still the same. But I notice she has moved closer. Or maybe I just hope she has.
The other passengers are growing impatient as I block their path. I need to move. But I don't know which way to go.
I move to speak to the steward and I see her. She did move. She panicked.
I drop my bag and run to her. She meets me halfway. Our arms cannot hold each other tight enough. Tears stream down both our faces. She knows I am sorry. And I know she forgives me.
~Let's just start over again~
She takes my head in her hands. The touch makes my entire body tremble. I don't deserve this woman.
She sees that thought in my eyes as I pull away.
"Yes you do," she smiles, not letting me run. "You're gonna tell me the whole truth. And we're gonna start again."
"I don't want to start again," I say, surprising myself as much as her. "I can't wait another fifteen years to tell you I love you."
Tears once again fill her eyes as she smiles. "Well, maybe we'll just start the next chapter."