He watches her. She doesnít know heís watching. She never knows.
She looks happy. Daniel just said something funny, and sheís laughing. Itís good to see her laugh.
Watching her like this isnít good for him. But he likes to do it. Heís not allowed to be the one who makes her happy. But they canít stop him watching out for her.
Laughter brings out her beauty. Itís always there, but sometimes it seems she wants to hide it. As if, somehow, it would be easier in a predominantly male workplace if she wasnít beautiful. She canít hide it though. And all her walls are down when she laughs.
His heart aches every time he does this. He wants to be the one who makes her laugh. He wants to make her smile. He wants to be there if sheís sad. And hold her if she cries. He wants to love her like she deserves to be loved.
His face must have changed to reflect the longing he is feeling, as Daniel indicates towards him, and she turns to face him, her laughter and smile replaced with concern.
ďAre you okay, Sir?Ē she asks.
He nods and gestures for her to return to her conversation. She hesitates for a second, frowning as she tries to figure out whatís wrong.
ďIím fine, Carter,Ē he assures her, lying.
She offers him a look that tells him sheís there if he needs to talk, which he acknowledges with an appreciative nod. Then she smiles and waits for him to smile back before she turns back to her discussion with Daniel and Tealíc.
And he continues to watch her. And though sheís always there beside him, he misses her more each day.