Of Disappointments
**WARNING** This fic contains MAJOR SPOILERS for the as yet unaired Atlantis season two episode "The Long Goodbye". If you are trying to remain SPOILER free then DO NOT read this.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended.
Rating:  Major
Summary: SPOILERS!!!!!!!! SPECULATIVE POST-EP FOR ‘THE LONG GOODBYE’ – CURRENTLY UNAIRED EPISODE. DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE TRYING TO BE SPOILER FREE!!!
A/N: A SPOILER SPACE just to provide another warning!

S

P

O

I

L

E

R

Spoilers this way

S

P

A

C

E

You’ve been warned!

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

SPOILERS FOLLOW!!!

*

*

*

A/N: Reading all the lovely spoilers for this episode inspired this. It’s based on the fact that I figured TPTB wouldn’t give us a scene where John and Elizabeth mention the kiss. So this is intended as a post-ep/missing scene piece. Wanted to post before the ep airs though in case something that happens in the ep makes it obsolete :-) Oh, and it's pretty much fluff :-)

Elizabeth closed her laptop and sat back in her chair; her mind trying to process what she had just read.

She had seen some unusual mission reports in her time as leader of Atlantis – and even before that, when she had read all of the Stargate Command mission reports, back on Earth – and believed herself immune to surprise. However, she was finding it hard to take in what this report detailed. Although she knew it was true, it was difficult to comprehend that it had happened the way they said it had.

Resting her head back against the chair, she winced at the pain she had forgotten would be there and lifted her head up again. She sat forward, with a sigh, and leaned her elbows on the desk, resting her head on her hands.

She was just contemplating whether or not it was a good idea to go and talk to John about what had happened when the man in question appeared in the doorway.

“Hey,” he said, casually, but there was tell of anxiety in his tone.

She looked up at him and smiled, perhaps a little too widely for it to be entirely convincing. “Hey… What’s up?”

He stepped inside and moved slowly to the chair opposite her as he replied with a shrug: “Oh, not much.”

“Just finished reading Carson’s report?” she asked as he sat down.

He nodded. “Had to make sure Rodney wasn’t making it up.”

Elizabeth laughed a little. “I did the same thing,” she admitted, a sheepish smile playing on her lips.

Now John laughed also, then an awkward silence took residence in the office.

While John’s eyes wandered around the room, Elizabeth played with the corner of her laptop, occasionally allowing herself to look at John to see what he was doing.

On one of these occasions, John’s eyes happened to catch hers and it passed, unspoken, between them that they really should talk about it. Both looking away to decide where to start, Elizabeth found her voice first.

“Do you remember any of it?” she asked tentatively.

John shook his head. “No… You?”

She did the same. “Even as I read it, none of it seemed familiar… It didn’t jog any memories. It’s just bizarre to think that was me and I don’t – ”

“It wasn’t you,” John interrupted.

“I know,” she smiled. “And it wasn’t you… But it was our bodies. We still bear the scars and the bruises from their fight and, yet, have no recollection of receiving or inflicting them… Don’t you find that… incomprehensible?”

John shrugged again. “I find it a little odd,” he said nonchalantly.

Elizabeth laughed – no doubt the reaction he had been hoping for. “‘A little odd’. Why, John, I think you’ve summed up the situation perfectly.”

“I do have quite a way with words,” he grinned.

They both took a moment to laugh, and then he spoke seriously. “Actually, I’m trying not to think about it too much.”

“Hurts your head?” she asked, smiling understandingly.

“Well, that, and I find it kinda disappointing. I mean, you kissed me and I don’t remember it,” he replied, eyes twinkling with mischief.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and pursed her lips. “It wasn’t me,” she corrected him.

“Okay, then I’m disappointed that your lips kissed mine and I don’t remember it.”

“Judging by the reports, you kissed me back – or he kissed her back,” she stated, frowning a little at the complexity of it all.

John smirked as he responded. “Well, can you blame him?”

She smiled, in spite of herself, and had no control at all over the flirtatious sparkle that appeared in her eyes as she held his gaze while they drifted into a comfortable silence.

***

Minutes passed and they were still sitting in silence, each staring at the other with a look that challenged them to make the next move as if it was a dare, while, inside, both wished that this could be the moment that changed things.

After what must have been nearly three minutes, John finally spoke, but his eyes remained fixed firmly on Elizabeth’s.

“It doesn’t look like anyone’s going to walk in and interrupt this,” he commented.

Elizabeth’s head shook slightly, but her eyes remained still. “No it doesn’t.”

“We can normally rely on Rodney and Zelenka to walk in…”

She nodded; facial expression unchanging.

“Looks like we’re going to have to interrupt this ourselves,” John continued when she offered no vocal response.

“Yes it does,” she stated, eyes still boring into him.

They spent another minute or so in sexual tension-filled silence and then both looked away at the same time; glancing around the room to purge their thoughts.

“So, are you hungry?” John asked, randomly, to change the subject.

“Starving,” Elizabeth replied with a smile. “Lead the way.”

They stood simultaneously and walked out of her office, John hanging back in the doorway to let the lady leave first.

“You know, I’ve changed my mind,” he said as he fell into step beside her as they walked through the control room.

“About what?” she asked, smiling to the colleagues that they passed.

“About what I find most disappointing about our situation.”

She looked at him, that eyebrow raised again. “That was quick.”

He chose not to respond to that, except with an ‘unamused’ look, and said: “I’m most disappointed that I didn’t get to see the look on Rodney and Carson’s faces when you kissed me.”

Elizabeth laughed quietly, shaking her head.

“Do you think we could – ”

She cut him off. “No!”

He pouted. “Aw, go on… We can claim we were still under alien influence.”

“And have Carson confine us to the infirmary to do more tests?… No!”

They continued walking in silence until they had cleared the control room.

“And, besides,” Elizabeth said as they stepped into the transporter. “I’d like our first real kiss to be in private.”

He turned sideways to look at her, his eyes wide with shock, and she simply smiled seductively as the transporter doors slid closed.

THE END