Part of Me

Rating: PG
Summary: There's a part of me that wishes all my dreams come true…
Disclaimer: I do not own Lie to me*. Title and summary (and lyrics used in fic) from 'Part of Me' by Suzy Bogguss. Don't own that either (except on CD!)
A/N: Many thanks to Lightwoman for reading this through for me :)
A/ad: If you haven't yet visited the official Kelli Williams website & fanclub, forget reading this and go there instead. teamkelli(dot)tv
Date: 9th April 2011

… … …

There's a part of me that wishes
All my dreams come true…

... … …

It's quite ridiculous that you occupy my thoughts for so many hours of a day. If you haven't given me reason to be angry at you, or to worry about you, or to wonder where the hell you are (or who the hell you're with), then I'm thinking about something nice that you have done; an unexpected gesture that reminds me of the earlier years of our friendship. Or I'm looking back at all the times you were there for me; the days when I didn't have to question your loyalty or doubt my own.

Or you're with me and you're being your usual infuriating self, but you're amusing me, entertaining me, pushing yourself as far into my personal space as you can get without actually taking that last step and kissing me, or holding me. And all I can think about is how I wish you would. How I could be the one to close the gap; to cross the line; to push the boundaries of this relationship as you're so fond of doing. How I could take control of my own dreams rather than leaving it to you; rather than letting you trample all over them because you're too scared to admit that you know they're in your hands.

But I won't. Because I know it has to be you. Because I know that if this doesn't start on your terms, then it will fall apart - because you're not strong enough to hand your dreams to someone else. So I wait. Because I am… Or, at least, I tell myself I am. Because there is a part of me that knows we could work; we could be happy together; we could be so much more than we are now. And I want that. No matter how long it takes; no matter what you've put me through lately.

But when my thoughts wander to (where the hell you are, or) who the hell you're with, my strength does waiver. Because it is ridiculous that you occupy my thoughts for so many hours of a day: When I doubt I feature prominently in many of yours.

I love you. I do. But it would be so much easier if I didn't.

… … …

There's a part of me that prays
I'll wake up some day
Over you.

… … …